When a marital relationship begins to show serious signs of strain and hopelessness, spouses tend to gloss over the signs and cling to certain rationalizations and even lies to stay in a state of denial. By the time a person gets to a divorce law attorney in Texas or elsewhere, the charade is usually over and the individual sees a clearer reality concerning the relationship. For some people, those realizations can come quickly and bring about rapid change, whereas for others, the old beliefs and lies are hard to shed.
That doesn’t mean that every feeling of negativity toward one’s spouse is to be accepted as true. Some conflicts and differences are minor; some pulling away is natural and may be subject to correction through good faith marriage counseling. Rekindling the affection should always be tried. However, when a slew of nagging thoughts repeats that the marriage is tarnished or the relationship is hitting rock bottom, and when the thoughts are relentlessly repetitive, the more one may conclude that they are real.
Prior to facing a breakthrough and conquering the mask of denial, people may resort to many lies to hide the unwanted truth. One may say that the other spouse is normal and loving underneath that uncaring and even cruel exterior. The spouse’s habits of staying out and being rarely at home are due to a need to work at the office and to have some alone time. All the signs that point to another person are just exaggerations and paranoia. If this marriage doesn’t work, there will never be another chance.
The children must be protected from divorce at all costs. Our incompatibility can be changed and so on. There are many other rationalizations. However, when one sees that the patterns do not change, despite efforts to reconcile the differences, and that good faith efforts always fail, a reality check may be in order. When the cycle repeats itself like a scene from the movie “Groundhog Day,” it may be time to make an appointment to consult with a Texas attorney who is experienced in matrimonial and divorce matters.
Source: goodmenproject.com, “32 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Marriage and Divorce –“, May 2, 2018