As parents who have gone through divorce and realize that you need to raise your child in a healthy manner, it’s vital that you’re able to work together. You have a parenting plan and good custody agreement, but your concern is that you both still have trouble communicating.

It is essential that you don’t put your child in the middle of any dispute or use them as a method of communication, so what can you do? Are there tools for parents who are divorced to learn to work together?

Try mediation

Yes, there are, and they’re extremely helpful. One of the best tools to help divorced parents is a mediator. With a mediator, you’ll be able to talk about your parenting, the other party’s parenting methods, what you like or don’t like, your expectations and more. The benefit is that a mediator is present, so you and your ex-spouse will have time to speak and are more likely to stay on topic. Mediators have many helpful techniques for you to learn, too, so that you can better communicate.

Consider text or voicemail

Another helpful tool can be a monitored text program. Sometimes, when parents truly cannot get along, they have to use monitored texts. They can send texts through the channel, and those texts will be saved and available to their attorneys and the court. This often prevents unnecessary texting and harassment.

Another good option is voicemail. Simply leaving a message can be a great way to communicate, since it’s easier to refer back to the voicemail in the future than it would be to remember what you talked about in a heated conversation.

Civility is the goal after divorce

For parents, civility has to be the goal after a divorce. That means that even if you don’t get along and never want to see each other, you have to put up with those feelings and do what’s best for your child. You need to be respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like or agree with them.

Of course, there are sometimes cases where parents are involved in disputes, may harass each other or even threaten the safety of their ex-spouse. In those cases, it’s essential to reach out to your San Antonio attorney and talk about options for a restraining order or other options for reducing conflicts in communication. The right techniques will help keep your situation calm, which allows your child to adjust.