You and your spouse decided to have children, and they are, whether they want to be or not, a part of your divorce. You need to work out how to divide your time with them and how to make them comfortable living between homes. It’s a big adjustment.
So, how can you make it easier for your children to adjust to living in two homes? Here are a few good ideas that you can try.
First, talk to them about joining in the process of selecting the new home, a new bedroom or even new furniture, depending on your circumstances. For example, if you plan to get a new apartment, having your child go with you to look at it and decide if they like a certain room or part of the home may be a help in getting them excited about living there.
Another good idea is to keep your children on a routine between homes. If you have them go to bed at 8 p.m., your ex-spouse should, too, when possible. Keeping a routine takes much of the guesswork out of what will happen each day, making children feel more secure.
Finally, make sure they have comforting items in each home, like teddy bears, toys or favorite blankets. They need to feel like this is home.
It should be clear that there is no magic answer for making your kids comfortable with divorce, but by including them and giving them some control and balancing their routines, you’ll be taking steps in the right direction. Your attorney may have additional ideas for you based on what they’ve seen work with other families in the past. It may take time, but your children will adjust to these changes.